IMPORTANT STUFF

by Sandra Abell

I'm usually an upbeat, happy person, so I've been perplexed these past few days by a feeling of free-floating depression. Everything in my life is great, so why am I feeling physically lethargic, mentally fuzzy and sad?

As I pondered this situation, I realized that this is the time of year when my mother died. Eight years ago, on Sept. 27, the loving, wonderful woman who had always been my rock, let go and moved on. She was 91 years old, had lived a good life and was ready. But I wasn't, and still am not. I've gone on with my life, but not a day passes when I don't think of something I forgot to ask her, wish we could laugh together or I could receive her wise counsel on a troubling matter.

Even though I miss her every day, I'm usually able to enjoy my life and function just fine. However, each year around this time my subconscious reminds my body that it's a time of grief, and I feel "down" for a week or so.

Once I identify what's going on, I can relax, be gentle with myself, and get on with things. Still, it's disconcerting until I remember that I'm reliving my grief over having an empty space where my mother should be. What always amazes me is that my subconscious and body remember, even when my conscious mind is focused elsewhere.

So this month I'm reflecting on my mother, and all the people who were physically in my life and are now in my heart. I'm also reflecting on how incredible the human mind/body connection is, and how grateful I am that they help remind me of the important stuff.

How about you?

The Little Man at Home Depot

During the evening of August 3, 2009, a legend in my world departed this earth and only left his soul behind. This man is my Papa Mark and he has exposed me to lessons that cannot be learned in school or by reading a book, but rather through experiencing and witnessing an individual who had an insatiable desire to serve.
My papa worked until the day that he died, as he was the number one salesman at Home Depot, (in the entire country for appliances), but this honor shies in comparison to the number of lives that he has impacted as a result of the Act of Contribution.
My grandfather defined the concept of giving for the sake of giving and this is a lesson that all of us need to adopt into our lives. The Act of Contribution is what kept him alive because it enabled him to serve his purpose on earth.
I am going to ask all of you to take a moment and answer this question honestly: When was the last time that you performed the Act of Contribution and gave for the sake of giving?
The reason that I pose this question is because I believe that we live in a country that is consistently dialed into the radio station WIFM or in other words, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME! Many of us simply care about giving for the sake of receiving, or even worse, needing to receive first before we give. We look to see how other people can benefit us, prior to even considering how we can positively impact their lives.
I believe that we live in a sick country and the infection is greed and an unappeasable craving to benefit ourselves. There have been countless studies associated with the power of contribution and how it can eliminate depression, emptiness, and lack of self worth. It is important to realize that money is not the only contribution, and in my opinion, it should be the last.
People yearn to experience what love is all about, and this is not necessarily intimacy, but rather knowing that someone will be in their life and guide them on their journey. We live in a world where children are growing up and never experiencing a hug, where teenagers lack mentors, and adults make poor choices for relationships. These people need our help, and what they need has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
Papa Mark was the person that I described in the last sentence because people felt connected to him on a number of different levels because their world changed when he entered their lives. There is a quote that I read a number of years ago that epitomizes my Papa Mark: People enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
My Papa Mark was the later for every single person who was fortunate enough to spend a moment with him. Although his life came to an end only a couple of days ago, his presence will never be lost and his insatiable desire to serve will go on forever.
One of my goals with this message is to acknowledge my Papa for everything that he stood for in my world and his authenticity in others as well. My other motive was to open all of your eyes and encourage you to realize that the Act of Contribution is an essential component to living a life worth living.
So keep your money in your pocket, reveal your heart to the world, and take time today, and everyday going forward, to give for the sake of giving and become a Papa Mark in someone else's world.
PS: RIP Papa. I love you with everything that I have inside. You are part of my drive!
by Jared Yellin

WHAT Did You Say? (are you LISTENING to what you say to yourself?)

Usually, there is a fluffy, feel-good story here.WARNING - that is NOT THE CASE TODAY! I wanted to GET REAL with you today about the way you treat YOURSELF! Let me ask you some questions.you don't have to answer aloud (especially if you're at work, on the subway or in Starbucks.) but DO take the time to be honest. OKAY?
Here we go:
* You are on your way to an important appointment.no time to spare.and you make a wrong turn and get a little lost. What are you saying to yourself?
* You are dressing in the morning and you are frustrated with the way your clothes hang or that your jeans aren't buttoning right. What do you say?
* You burn your hand while you're cooking dinner.or worse - burn dinner! What are you saying? (no expletives, please!)
* You are doing your hair and you cannot get it to turn out quite right. What do you say to yourself in the mirror?
* Your children are a little WOUND up and you over-react a little in anger when you are correcting them. What do you say to yourself?
* You fail a test (school, driving, certification, pregnancy.you fill in the blank). What do you tell yourself?
* The house is a mess, your household schedule is CRAZY, you forgot a baby shower you were supposed to attend and hubby's birthday sneaked up on you..WHAT ARE YOU SAYING TO YOURSELF?
Let me tell you from my own circumstances.when I could not find my keys, my purse or the baby's favorite blankie - I was INSTANTLY saying "Carrie, you would lose your head if it wasn't attached. Why can't you be more organized?"
When I was driving and got lost (I am directionally challenged, at best).I IMMEDIATELY began telling myself "Carrie, you couldn't find your way out ofa paper bag! Why are you so worthless about directions?"
And clothes not fitting??? WELL - after dealing with 20+ years of being overweight.you can ONLY IMAGINE the way I talked to myself about my body, my weight and my eating habits.
Now, consider this!! We would NEVER allow someone else (spouse, kids, parents or coworkers) to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves! Right? We are somewhat trained to berate ourselves.we seem to think that if we speak harshly to ourselves, it will affect change. I DISAGREE!
I think that the more you "hear" something (whether it is true or not and regardless of who says it) you begin to believe it!
I know beautiful women that started saying ickky things to themselves when they were awkward pre-teens and now.even though they are stylish and gorgeous, they have these BELIEFS that they are clumsy, awkward and unattractive because they've been telling themselves that since junior high school!
I know intelligent and capable men that berate themselves constantly even though they are successful and well-respected...perhaps they are replaying 'tapes' in their head of what a teacher, coach, peer or parent previously helped them believe about themself!
Why not CHANGE YOUR DIRECTION? (Warning, this will seemawkward at first)
For example.NOW that I am aware of how I tend to fuss at myself.I change the script! When I cannot find something easily because of the chaos my house is in.I say "Wow, we are so blessed with thesefour great kids and a busy house! If things were perfectly organized, how boring would that be?"
When I am lost or turned around, I say "I'm so glad I left a few minutes early so I could enjoy all the alternate routes!" --- OK, this may seem silly to you - but what do you think this has done for my attitude?
I have aclient that told me she was fussing about her "bad hair day" in the mirror and on the way to work realized she should be thankful for a head full of naturally curly hair instead of wasting energy being mad about it.
When we give ourselves permission to SPEAK KIND AND ENCOURAGING words to ourselves.that is bound to spill out of us into the lives of others. Don't you agree? TRY IT TODAY!! Pay attention to what you say to yourself and see if there aren't some more uplifting or positive words you can say instead!

By Carrie Wilkerson

Teenage Depression

Tips and Tools for Helping Yourself or a Friend.

The teenage years can be tough, and it’s perfectly normal to feel sad or irritable every now and then. But if these feelings don’t go away or become so intense that you can’t handle them, you may be suffering from depression. The good news is that you don’t have to feel this way. Help is available—all you have to do is ask. You also have more power over depression than you think. There are many things you can do to help yourself or a friend start feeling better.

What depression feels like
If you think you are depressed, you’re not alone. Depression is far more common in teens than you may think, and there is a lot of hope and help on the horizon. No matter what you believe, people love and care about you, and if you can muster the courage to talk about your depression, it can — and will — be resolved. Some people think that talking about sad feelings will make them worse, but the opposite is almost always true. It is very helpful to share your worries with someone who will listen and care, especially a trained professional who can guide you towards feeling better.

Signs and symptoms of depression in teens
It's hard to put into words how depression feels, and people experience it differently. There are, however, some common problems and symptoms that teens with depression experience.
You constantly feel irritable, sad, or angry.
Nothing seems fun anymore, and you just don’t see the point of trying.
You feel bad about yourself—worthless, guilty, or just "wrong" in some way
You sleep too much or not enough.
You have frequent, unexplained headaches or other physical problems.
Anything and everything makes you cry.
You’ve gained or lost weight without consciously trying to.
You just can’t concentrate. Your grades may be plummeting because of it.
You feel helpless and hopeless .


Is your friend depressed?
If you’re a teenager with a friend who seems down or troubled, you may suspect depression. But how do you know it’s not just a passing phase or a bad mood? Look for common warning signs of teen depression:
Your friend doesn’t want to do the things you guys used to love to do.
Your friend starts using alcohol or drugs or hanging with a bad crowd.
Your friend stops going to classes and afterschool activities.
Your friend talks about being bad, ugly, stupid, or worthless.
Your friend starts talking about death or suicide.

Dealing with suicidal thoughts
If your feelings become so overwhelming that you can’t see any solution besides harming yourself or others, you need to get help right away. And yet, asking for help when you’re in the midst of such strong emotions can be really tough. If talking to a stranger might be easier for you, call 1-800-273-TALK to speak in confidence to someone who can understand and help you deal with your feelings.
In the meantime, the following suggestions can help get you through until you feel ready to talk to someone:
There is ALWAYS another solution, even if you can’t see it right now. Many kids who have attempted suicide (and survived) say that they did it because they mistakenly felt there was no other solution to a problem they were experiencing. At the time, they could not see another way out – but in truth, they didn’t really want to die. Remember that no matter how horribly you feel, these emotions will pass.
Having thoughts of hurting yourself or others does not make you a bad person. Depression can make you think and feel things that are out of character. No one should judge you or condemn you for these feelings if you are brave enough to talk about them.
If your feelings are uncontrollable, tell yourself to wait 24 hours before you take any action. This can give you time to really think things through and give yourself some distance from the strong emotions that are plaguing you. During this 24-hour period, try to talk to someone – anyone - as long as they are not another suicidal or depressed person. Call a hotline or talk to a friend. What do you have to lose?
If you’re afraid you can’t control yourself, make sure you are never alone. Even if you can’t verbalize your feelings, just stay in public places, hang out with friends or family members, or go to a movie – anything to keep from being by yourself and in danger.

What you can do to feel better
Depression is not your fault, and you didn’t do anything to cause it. However, you do have some control over feeling better. Staying connected to friends and family, sharing your feelings with someone you trust, and making healthy lifestyle decisions can all have a hugely positive impact on your mood.
Ask for help if you’re stressed
Stress and worry can take a big toll, even leading to depression. Talk to a teacher or school counselor if exams or classes seem overwhelming. Likewise, if you have a health concern you feel you can’t talk to your parents about—such as a pregnancy scare or drug problem—seek medical attention at a clinic or see a doctor. A health professional can help you approach your parents (if that is required) and guide you toward appropriate treatment.
If you’re dealing with relationship, friendship, or family problems, talk to an adult you trust. Your school may have a counselor you can go to for help, or you may want to ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see a therapist.
Try not to isolate yourself
When you’re depressed, you may not feel like seeing anybody or doing anything. Just getting out of bed in the morning can be difficult, but isolating yourself only makes depression worse. Make it a point to stay social, even if that’s the last thing you want to do. As you get out into the world, you may find yourself feeling better.
Spend time with friends, especially those who are active, upbeat, and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid hanging out with those who abuse drugs or alcohol, get you into trouble, or who make you feel insecure. It’s also a good idea to limit the time you spend playing video games or surfing online.
Remember that you are not alone
You might be surprised at how many other teens suffer from depression. You are not alone, and neither is your depression a hopeless case. Even though it can feel like depression will never lift, it eventually will—and with proper treatment and healthy choices, that day can come even sooner. ?In the meantime, you might need therapy or medication to help you while you sort out your feelings. Look into your treatment options with your parents. If medication is being considered, do your research before making a decision, as some antidepressants used for adults can actually make teens feel worse.
Keep your body healthy
Making healthy lifestyle choices can do wonders for your mood. Things like diet and exercise have been shown to help depression. Ever heard of a "runners high"? You actually get a rush of endorphins from exercising, which makes you feel instantly happier. Physical activity can be as effective as medications or therapy for depression, so get involved in sports, ride your bike, or take a dance class. Any activity helps! Even a short walk can be beneficial.
As for food, it’s true that you are what you eat. An improper diet can make you feel sluggish and tired, which worsens depression symptoms. Your body needs vitamins and minerals such as iron and the B-vitamins. Make sure you’re feeding your mind with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Talk to your parents, doctor or school nurse about how to ensure your diet is adequately nutritious.
Avoid alcohol and drugs
You may be tempted to drink or use drugs in an effort to escape from your feelings and get a "mood boost", even if just for a short time. However, substance use can not only make depression worse, but can cause you to become depressed in the first place. Alcohol and drug use can also increase suicidal feelings. In short, drinking and taking drugs will make you feel worse—not better—in the long run.
If you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs, seek help. You will need special treatment for your substance problem on top of whatever treatment you’re receiving for your depression.
You’re thinking about death or suicide. (If this is true, talk to someone right away

Talking to your parents about depression
As Will Smith once said, "parents just don’t understand." Understatement of the year, huh? It may seem like there’s no way your parents will be able to help, especially if they are always nagging you or getting angry about your behavior. The truth is, parents hate to see their kids hurting. They may feel frustrated because they don’t understand what is going on with you or know how to help. Many parents don’t know enough about depression to recognize it in their own kids. So, it may be up to you to educate them. You can refer them to this site, or look for further information online. Letting your parents know that you are feeling depressed will probably motivate them to get you the help you need.
If your parents are abusive in any way, or if they have problems of their own that makes it difficult for them to take care of you, find another adult you trust (such as a relative, teacher, counselor, or coach). This person can either help you approach your parents, or direct you toward the support you need. If you truly don’t have anyone you can talk to, refer to our resources at the end of this article. There are many hotlines, services, and support groups that can help. No matter what, talk to someone, especially if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself or others. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do, and the first step on your way to feeling better.

Helping a depressed friend
Depressed teens typically rely on their friends more than their parents or other adults in their lives, so you may find yourself in the position of being the first – or only – person that they talk to about their feelings. While this might seem like a huge responsibility, there are many things you can do to help.
Get your friend to talk to you. Starting a conversation about depression can be daunting, but you can say something simple: "You seem like you are really down, and not yourself. I really want to help you. Is there anything I can do?"
Know that your friend doesn’t expect you to have the answers. Your friend probably just needs someone to listen and be supportive. By listening and responding in a non-judgmental and reassuring manner, you are helping in a major way.
Encourage your friend to get help. Urge your depressed friend to talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor. It might be scary for your friend to admit to an authority figure that there is a problem. Having you there might help, so offer to go along for support.
Stick with your friend through the hard times. Depression can make people do and say things that are hurtful or strange. But your friend is going through a very difficult time, so try not to take it personally. Once your friend gets help, he or she will go back to being the person you know and love. In the meantime, make sure you have other friends or family taking care of you – your feelings are important and need to be respected, too.
Speak up if your friend is suicidal. If your friend is joking or talking about suicide, giving possessions away, or saying goodbye, tell a trusted adult immediately. Your only responsibility at this point is to get your friend help, and get it fast. Even if you promised not to tell, your friend needs your help. It’s better to have a friend who is temporarily angry at you than one who is no longer alive.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TEENAGE AND ADULT DEPRESSION

Depression in teens can look very different from depression in adults. The following symptoms of depression are more common in teenagers than in their adult counterparts:
Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
Unexplained aches and pains - Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism - Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
Withdrawing from some, but not all people - While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.

Effects of teen depression
The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers are actually indications of depression. See the table below for some of the ways in which teens “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain:
Untreated Depression Can Lead to…
Problems at school
Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student.
Running away
Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away. Such attempts are usually a cry for help.
Substance abuse
Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “self-medicate” their depression. Unfortunately, substance abuse only makes things worse.
Low self-esteem
Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness.
Eating disorders
Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and yo-yo dieting are often signs of unrecognized depression.
Internet addiction
Teens may go online to escape from their problems. But excessive computer use only increases their isolation and makes them more depressed.
Self-injury
Cutting, burning, and other kinds of self-mutilation are almost always associated with depression. To learn more, see Helpguide’s Self-Injury.
Reckless behavior
Depressed teens may engage in dangerous or high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, out-of-control drinking, and unsafe sex.
Violence
Some depressed teens (usually boys who are the victims of bullying) become violent. As in the case of the Columbine school massacre, self-hatred and a wish to die can erupt into violence and homicidal rage.
Suicide
Teens who are seriously depressed often think, speak, or make "attention-getting" attempts at suicide. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors should always be taken very seriously.

Suicide warning signs in teenagers
An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds. For the overwhelming majority of suicidal teens, depression or another psychological disorder plays a primary role. In depressed teens who also abuse alcohol or drugs, the risk of suicide is even greater.
Because of the very real danger of suicide, teenagers who are depressed should be watched closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior. The warning signs include:
Talking or joking about committing suicide.
Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
Giving away prized possessions.
Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves.

Helping a depressed teenager
If you suspect that a teenager in your life is suffering from depression, take action right away. Depression is very damaging when left untreated, so don’t wait and hope that the symptoms will go away. Even if you’re unsure that depression is the issue, the troublesome behaviors and emotions you’re seeing in your teenager are signs of a problem. Whether or not that problem turns out to be depression, it still needs to be addressed - the sooner the better.
Talk to your teen
The first thing you should do if you suspect depression is to talk to your teen about it. In a loving and non-judgmental way, share your concerns with your teenager. Let him or her know what specific signs of depression you’ve noticed and why they worry you. Then encourage your child to open up about what he or she is going through.

TIPS FOR TALKING TO A DEPRESSED TEEN
Offer support
Let depressed teenagers know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (teenagers don’t like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you’re ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.
Be gentle but persistent
Don’t give up if your adolescent shuts you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Be respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.
Listen without lecturing
Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or ultimatums as well.
Validate feelings
Don’t try to talk teens out of their depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling. If you don’t, they will feel like you don’t take their emotions seriously.
If your teen claims nothing is wrong, but has no explanation for what is causing the depressed behavior, you should trust your instincts. Remember that denial is a strong emotion. Furthermore, teenagers may not believe that what they’re experiencing is the result of depression. If you see depression’s warning signs, seek professional help. Neither you nor your teen is qualified to either diagnosis depression or rule it out, so see a doctor or psychologist who can.

Visit your family doctor
Make an immediate appointment for your teen to see the family physician for a depression screening. Be prepared to give your doctor specific information about your teen’s depression symptoms, including how long they’ve been present, how much they’re affecting your child’s daily life, and any patterns you’ve noticed. The doctor should also be told about any close relatives who have ever been diagnosed with depression or another mental health disorder.
As part of the depression screening, the doctor will give your teenager a complete physical exam and take blood samples to check for medical causes of your child’s symptoms. In order to diagnose depression, other possible causes of your teen’s symptoms must first be ruled out. The doctor will check for medical causes of the depression by giving your teenager a complete physical exam and running blood tests. The doctor may also ask your teen about other things that could be causing the symptoms, including heavy alcohol and drug use, a lack of sleep, a poor diet (especially one low in iron), and medications (including birth control pills and diet pills).

TEEN DEPRESSION

Teenage depression isn’t just bad moods and occasional melancholy. Depression is a serious problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide. Fortunately, teenage depression can be treated, and as a concerned parent, teacher, or friend, there are many things you can do to help.

Understanding teen depression
There are as many misconceptions about teen depression as there are about teenagers in general. Yes, the teen years are tough, but most teens balance the requisite angst with good friendships, success in school or outside activities, and the development of a strong sense of self. Occasional bad moods or acting out is to be expected, but depression is something different. Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager’s personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger.Whether the incidence of teen depression is actually increasing, or we’re just becoming more aware of it, the fact is that depression strikes teenagers far more often than most people think. And although depression is highly treatable, experts say only 20% of depressed teens ever receive help.Unlike adults, who have the ability to seek assistance on their own, teenagers usually must rely on parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their suffering and get them the treatment they need. So if you have an adolescent in your life, it’s important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs.

Signs and symptoms of Teen Depression

Sadness or hopelessness
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Tearfulness or frequent crying
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Restlessness and agitation
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
Fatigue or lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of death or suicide

Teenagers face a host of pressures, from the changes of puberty to questions about who they are and where they fit in. The natural transition from child to adult can also bring parental conflict as teens start to assert their independence. With all this drama, it isn’t always easy to differentiate between depression and normal teenage moodiness. Making things even more complicated, teens with depression do not necessarily appear sad, nor do they always withdraw from others. For some depressed teens, symptoms of irritability, aggression, and rage are more prominent.

If you’re unsure if an adolescent in your life is depressed or just “being a teenager,” consider how long the symptoms have been present, how severe they are, and how different the teen is acting from his or her usual self. While some “growing pains” are to be expected as teenagers grapple with the challenges of growing up, dramatic, long-lasting changes in personality, mood, or behavior are red flags of a deeper problem.

THE CHASE

My youngest child turned seven months old yesterday. They grow so quickly, don't they? His development is bittersweet, I can't wait for him to reach that next stage, but then again I want him to stay little! He is at that point where he is about to crawl - but can't quite do it yet. That doesn't stop him from moving around and getting where he needs to go though! He scoots around this house as fast as he can, dragging his little body with chubby arms. I love that 'army crawl'!
His favorite adventure the past few days has been 'chasing the bouncy blue ball'. I watched this closely today, and this is what I saw. His whole face lights up as soon as he sees the ball, and 'the chase' is on! He scoots after the ball - almost gets it in his grasp - and it slips away. No matter, he squeals with delight and chases it again. He catches it the next time, rolls over on his back, and holds on tight. He uses both hands and feet to keep the ball where he wants it while he 'hugs and kisses' the ball. He is so happy to have caught it, finally!
Then he lets the ball go, he watches it roll away, perhaps wondering where it will end up, or where it will take him next. He flips himself over and takes off after it again with a big smile on his face. He could do this all day long.
Chase the ball, catch the ball, hold it and play with it joyfully for a while, then watch it roll away once more. Does he get a little frustrated when the ball rolls away for the tenth time? Maybe a little, but he knows that half the fun, maybe even MOST of the fun, is in the chase!
How many times have you 'almost' had your DREAM or your GOAL in your grasp, just to watch it slip away? Do you stop the chase? Do you sit down and give up? Or - like the small child - do you realize that the fun is in 'the chase'? Worse yet - do you 'catch' your dream or your goal and then hold on to it so tightly that you stop moving?
Lessons learned:
1. The FUN is in the chase!
2. If your dream/goal slips away - keep after it - you never know where 'the chase' might take you!
3. Once you have your dream/goal in your grasp - set a new one and start chasing again!
4. Remember - the FUN is in the chase!
Now - go out there and 'squeal with delight' as you chase after your dreams with a smile on your face! If you do it this way, no one will ever know that you don't already have your dreams in your grasp!

by Tamara Yakovich

Joy Juice

Six Words That Changed a Life Six words - "Smile...it can't be that bad." - changed Judy's life. Judy is a young woman I worked with some years ago. She was in her late twenties, maybe early thirties, more than a little overweight, and not the most stylish dresser. What was most striking about her appearance was her smile; it was always there. Anyone passing Judy in the hallway was greeted with that smile and a soft, "Hello," or, "Good morning," in her gentle, Minnesota accent.
I happened to be with Judy one day when she had her driver's license out of her purse. The photograph on her license showed a face that looked like it had never smiled! The corners of her mouth were turned down, her face looked slack, and the eyes were dark and troubled. The overall impression was anger and deep grief. "Whoa! Judy...is that really you? What in the world was going on? You look like you're mad at the world!" Judy giggled. "Yes, it's me. I used to look like that all the time."
She then shared with me her story and the six words that changed her life. Judy had moved to Tennessee to care for an invalid uncle. Her life revolved around caring for this much older and very ill man who, though grateful, offered little in the way of good company for a shy young woman.
When he died, Judy realized for the first time that she had nothing - no job skills no education, no experience with which to support herself, and no friends. Lonely, grieving, and terrified, she took a big step and enrolled in a community college CAD/CAM program. The Judy that walked the halls between classes was the Judy captured in her driver's license photo. She didn't talk, didn't smile, didn't make eye contact.
One day, however, she met an instructor in the hallway who, in passing, said, "Smile...it can't be that bad." As Judy told me the story, she giggled again. "I was so embarrassed! And I didn't say anything at all. I couldn't. But I started thinking...maybe he was right." Nothing in Judy's life had changed, but she made a decision to smile anyway, to put a smile on her face without waiting for it to spontaneously show up. And so she did.
She would arrive at school and, very self-consciously at first, put a smile on her face as she walked across the parking lot. She forced herself to look up at the people she met, even if only for an instant. Over and over she repeated to herself the six words that started her down the path: "Smile...it can't be that bad." Without realizing it, she said, she had begun to practice "fake it 'till you make it," acting happy even when she wasn't. "And when I did," she said, "things changed.
People stopped avoiding me. Before, people sometimes crossed the halls to walk on the other side, and if they didn't, I did. When I started smiling, even though I didn't really feel it, people reacted differently. It took a little while, but one morning, someone actually said hello to me. And I smiled for real!"
Judy later went to the instructor who had made the comment and thanked him. As you might expect, he was surprised that his almost throwaway comment had that kind of impact. Judy met his family, visited his church, and slowly developed a social network. After living in Tennessee for more than ten years, she made her first friends.
When she told me the story, she finished with, "See? You never know how you might influence someone with what you say. Those six words changed my life. When I started acting happy, I became happy. I didn't even know it was happening, but it was, and I'm so glad he told me to, 'Smile...it can't be that bad.' He was right...it wasn't that bad...and it won't ever be that bad again."
Today's Joy Juice by Judy - happiness is a choice; fake it 'till you make it if you have to; and pay attention to the words you say...you may change someone's life.

by Linda Davenport

Bullish On Life

"A beautiful new longhorn bull was born in the pre-dawn hours this morning. He's one mighty handsome fella from championship bloodlines!" Rock's proud voice sounded as if another grandchild had made a spectacular entrance into the world.
Jerry had phoned to report the death of their mutual friend, Foy; he had passed away in the pre-dawn hours that same morning. Now he and Rock were attempting to end their conversation with a few words on a lighter note. Nonetheless, their voices broke with the pain coursing through them and they both fought back tears as they spoke.
They reminisced briefly about college years, fraternity pranks, marriages, raising families, and growing older. After forty years, the bond of friendship never wavered for Jerry, Rock, and Foy-or Folo as his friends affectionately called him.
One never knows how long they will be on this earth and Foy indicated he'd hoped to have a little more time. Although, he could only agree when Jerry reminded him, "You've somehow jam-packed the equivalent of 99 years into 64!"
Foy's eyes lit up and he smiled, "I really did, didn't I?" A look of satisfaction flashed across his ailing face.
In remembering Foy, one could only recall that he lived each day to the fullest- a lesson he demonstrated with flair.
Now Foy was gone, but he'd left behind a multitude of unforgettable memories for friends and family. His wit was beyond compare and his mind as quick as a lightening bolt. Quite possibly he could have made it into the "big time" as a comedian. Perhaps he missed his calling, although he continually entertained those close to him-even in his final days.
Thoughts of the newborn bull brought to mind similarities of the life it would lead, and the life Foy had relished. It could be said that Foy was bullish on life! Fences could not, and did not contain this feisty fellow. He viewed life as a lush, green pasture for running, romping, and kicking up his heels. Yet when provoked, he could compete with any snorting, head-tossing old bull. Having spent many years as a bachelor, he delighted in the company of female companions-just as this young bull would learn in years to come. And, to the dismay of his friends, Foy had the strength of a bull whether he chose to exercise or not.
As per Merriam Webster, part of the longhorn's description is: Having a highly variable color pattern. Amazingly, there couldn't be a more perfect depiction of Foy and the life he led! It was abundant with splashes of color and excitement.
Maybe it was happenstance that a new baby bull entered the world as Foy departed for pastures greener than mortals can fathom. Nonetheless, the newborn Texas Longhorn now carries the name Folo. Foy would be proud of his rowdy, rambunctious namesake-there's no doubt about it! What could be more fitting for a man who was absolutely "bullish on life".

What we ponder

"What we ponder and what we think about sets the course of our life."
One of my very favorites, Jim Rohn, is almost an endless well of wisdom, as witness this passage of his:"What we ponder and what we think about sets the course of our life. Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year."We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, "The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves." We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today."

Hit By An Angel

Have you ever wondered why you are here on this planet? Sounds like a simple enough question almost foolish. Everyday in someway angels bring us messages. You might be thinking I just left Starbucks with my Venti Latte and I did not see or feel any angels hovering about. Look back and think did you put a tip in the tip jar? Giving is living.

For me the more I give the more I get to keep. How about when someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you feel violated and angry? How could they do that to me? Or do you just let it go and realize that this person driving that vehicle is like many in our world just rushing, rushing, and rushing to where? The grave of course. Be grateful that the driver did not hit you and you had the mental faculties and maybe a guardian angel to adapt to the situation and maintain control of your vehicle.

Negative co-workers are angels also. They can knock you flat on your butt if you let them. What can I learn from their actions? How can I heal or help them without them knowing.
Negative co-workers are like angry customers if you run a business. They are gifts from the angels.

Or a better way to say it is these can be tools to improve yourself, your business, or your performance. What we learn from them may enhance our own lives. How I see people is how I treat them and how I treat them is how they become.

As far as Starbucks, I personally have never had a negative experience with them. Maybe that is because I NEVER EXPECTED TO. The last time I left Iraq in 2004 it was all I could do to keep from getting locked up or as they say in L.A. 5150 which means you are nuts.

On the flight out of Kuwait the attendants knew I was a bit stressed and I was talking to one of them and she took me in the back of the aircraft where they all where staying. They nurtured me and never left me alone. Maybe they were afraid, I doubt it, and I think they saw a wounded soul hurting like I had never hurt before. Yes I should've been evacuated to Landstuhl in Germany but I disliked hospitals because they always want to keep me for further evaluation. Besides I was a civilian now and I don't even know how I got on that flight to the U.S. but I did and I resigned as soon as I got home. So no psych ward for me.

What did I learn? There are angels everywhere. We can be angels if we choose to. Life is a gift, a great blessing. There are many stories I could tell about getting hit by angels from Africa, Germany and even my own house.

Have I seen real angels? Yes. I mean really felt the presence of and seen real angels? Yes. Did I think I was out of my mind? Yes.

Do you believe in angels? I have found that I like to have faith in angels. It feels better than no faith at all.
Look for your angels.

By Timothy Kendrick

YOU CAN BEGIN AGAIN

I have never heard anyone say, "I hate springtime." Well.okay, maybe those who suffer from allergies-but even they dislike the pollen, not the season. Flowers begin blooming; trees budding; grass growing; birds start singing. All of creation announces, "We're alive again!"

This year was a long, cold winter. Winter always seems long to me-too long, sometimes. But winter is necessary. In the economy of the climate, winter kills and then makes way for something new. During winter creation loses its sparkle. A once luscious, green forest becomes dismal gray. Most flowers die while others crawl back under the soil to hide from the wintry elements. Color, for a season, vanishes, and it seems, so does all of life.

To add to the drab surroundings, the song of nature is stilled as birds take their song to a warmer environment. Is it any wonder that a greater percentage of people suffer from depression during winter?

Like all creation, we too experience seasons in our life. Without exception, no one can live without going through personal winters. Most of them are cold and drab. Personal winters can be dead, gray, and colorless. It is easy to lose your song during these days. Like the people referred to in the Bible, during our winters we weep a lot and set beside "the rivers of Babylon" thinking of the good ole days. Scripture says they put away their musical instruments, "hanging them upon the branches of the willow trees" (see Psalm 137:1-2).

The recession, job losses, depression, home foreclosure, rejection, death of a loved one, abuse, sickness, marriage problems, divorce, addictions, loneliness, failures-these and more are the gray circumstances of a personal winter. During winter "something dies" so to speak. I don't like winter. However, it's necessary. Winter always precedes spring and every living thing must pass through a winter to enter spring. This is a spiritual principle of life that applies to everyone and everything.

The cross is the Lord's symbol that reminds us that Jesus experienced a personal winter, too. Like all winters, dying was part of it. First, His winter was for His Father and then for us. The cross was ugly. The Lord's death on the cross was even more repulsive. The only color that splashed across the backdrop of Jesus' crucifixion was red-His blood. Other than that, like all winters, it was gray, bleak, and dreary. But it was necessary for what was to come.

One would hardly recognize Jesus during His winter. Bruised, beaten, and bloody, only the inward charm remained. His outer shell was not recognizable. Finally, winter took its toll and He died. I'm not surprised. Winter was only doing its job

The story goes that winter passed and springtime came. Like a tulip lying dormant under the soil, the earth gave way to a greater power and promise. What everyone thought to be gone forever burst forth from a wintry grave. Flowers bloomed (lilies, I suppose), skies turned blue, warm days emerged, and birds sang again. This time they sang a new song-"He has risen!" In Jesus' resurrection God declares that our personal winters are only for a season. In the Bible a man named Paul wrote to a group of people faced with winter, "I want you to know about the great and mighty power that God has for us followers. It is the same wonderful power he used when he raised Christ from death." (Ephesians 1:19-20). Now that's some more serious power we have been given!

Easter is not only an event in Christian history-Easter is a person. Jesus said, "I am the resurrection" (John 11:25). Though we celebrate Jesus' birth in December, isn't it strange that historians cannot pinpoint when He was born? However, we're certain about the time of His resurrection-springtime, right after the Jewish Passover.

Springtime and resurrection go together like (as Forrest Gump says) "Peas and carrots." When Jesus resurrected from His grave God was declaring, "Your winters are limited!" Your personal winter may be long and hard but it will come to an end. This is the message of the season. Jesus never interpreted His future glory by the dismal winter of His cross. Neither should you.

Like daffodils that suddenly appear after a long cold season, the resurrection declares that your winter season is not the end of your story. I love springtime don't you? It's bursting with the resurrection of Jesus. And the resurrection is not just a good story-it's a life principle that God infused in the season itself.

Now, as I observe the flowers blooming, trees blossoming, and birds singing, I am reminded that winters, like the cross, do not last forever. Jesus has risen! Springtime is here. Now you can begin again.

Bill Baldwin

MY FRIDAY STORY "Gratitude"

The first step toward getting rich is to convey the idea of your wants to the formless substance.

This is true, and you will see that in order to do so it becomes necessary to relate yourself to the formless intelligence in a harmonious way.

To secure this harmonious relationship is a matter of such primary and vital importance that I will give some space to its discussion here. I will give you instructions, which, if you follow them, will be certain to bring you into a perfect unity of mind with God.

The whole process of mental adjustment and attunement can be summed up in one word: gratitude.

First, you believe that there is one intelligent substance from which all things proceed. Secondly, you believe that this substance gives you everything you desire. And, thirdly, you relate yourself to it through a feeling of deep and profound gratitude.

Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude. Having received one gift from God, they cut the wires, which connect them with Him by failing to make acknowledgment.

It is easy to understand that the nearer we live to the source of wealth, the more wealth we shall receive. It is also easy to understand that a soul that is always grateful lives in closer touch with God than one who never looks to Him in thankful acknowledgment.

When good things come to us, the more gratefully we fix our mind on the Supreme Power, the more good things we will receive - and the more rapidly they will come. The reason for this is simply that the mental attitude of gratitude draws the mind into closer touch with the source from which the blessings come.

By Wallace D. Wattles

Friday's Story

Forgiveness And Positive Living
By Ton Pascal

"Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wronged, they are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us." Lewis B. Smedes.

For over 20 years I carried a grudge, an anger closer to hatred of my own mother. I felt totally justified and was utterly convinced I had the right to express openly this anger against what I believed was my mother's absence and lack of caring, love or any motherly feelings toward me since the death of my father. In fact I drew my strength from these things to carry on with my life. Only a few close friends knew about it and even when I started doing my relaxation studies I never thought this issue had anything to do with my search for mental harmony and the frustration of not being able to reach it completely.

My incessant moving around this planet from one country to another brought me personal and material satisfaction but left me with an empty feeling. Like a potted tree that hasn't yet found mother earth's ground in which to thrive.

When I decided to come back to Canada five years ago, little did I know that it would be the beginning of a journey which would take me back in time and reunite me with my mother. My sister had arranged for us to meet and although I wasn't too keen to do so, I accepted.

I was tense, arrogant, and disagreeable when we met. As my mother tried to kiss me I pulled back and simply offered my hand for a handshake. Her first words stayed engraved in my mind and heart for the days to come when she said, "All that I want is to ask if you could forgive me for not being the mother I wish I could have been, my son, I am so sorry..."

We met again a few days later and we talked openly about our pains, hurts, sorrows, and expectations. It was the first time I saw my mother as a woman and as a human being; not from a child's point of view.

My father's untimely passing away at thirty two left a beautiful young widow of twenty six years old with four children, the youngest 25 days old to take care of, several cattle ranches and a retail business in a male- oriented society. Having only an aging father and a younger sister in Brazil, she was alone and against all odds, she succeeded in raising her family.

Compassion and understanding gave me the strength not only to forgive her, but to forgive myself for the senseless pain I inflicted myself and the guilt it carries with it. We became very close again, and slowly the whole family seemed to come closer and closer.

I soon found out that forgiveness is a positive energy that spreads much quicker than I thought. I have nephews, nieces, and cousins that are now an integral positive part of my life.
A new route was opening on my path and the writing of Dream Your Life Positively came a year after. A well-documented site on this subject is "A Campaign for Forgiveness Research"* where I found some important examples cited here.

Each time we witness an act of forgiveness, we marvel at its power to heal, to break a seemingly unending cycle of pain. Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to. In a Gallup poll nationwide survey, 94% said it was important to forgive, but it is not something we frequently offer. (In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.)
Perhaps this is because forgiveness is something we don't fully understand, or we associate forgiveness with weakness as Friedrich Nietzsche did. Some view forgiveness, as an almost saintly quality that blesses only the very special and most certainly cannot be learned. In fact, the opposite is true. Forgiveness is a sign of strength. Research conducted at the University of Wisconsin in 1997 indicates forgiveness can be taught, with positive results.

I told a friend of mine that if she wanted to find a healthier source of strength after her separation from an abusive husband, she must forgive him before she could find her own way to happiness. "After what I have been through with that bastard? When hell freezes over." was her answer.

I suggested she try the three affirmations below for a few weeks and see if she still felt the same way. - I am good, compassionate and I now have the strength to forgive. - I deserve to be happy and successful. - I am now ready to receive more love, support, and wealth from the vast supply of the universe.

After two weeks of affirmations she told me that the most difficult thing was to think of him and all the bad incidents. The pain, despair, and guilt would come back but she now understood that she wanted to be able to forgive and in her prayers she asked God to help her to forgive.

I knew then she had found her path. Forgiving is not condoning; hurtful actions have consequences. Yet couples that communicate forgiveness may hold the key to stable marriages.

What makes some marriages last a lifetime, while others falter and fall apart? According to Professor Douglas Kelley of Arizona State University West, the key to long-term conjugal bliss may be in how well a couple communicates forgiveness. "These days the notion of equality, an eye for an eye, is prominent," says Kelley. "That makes forgiveness counter-intuitive - but at the same time, a lot of people who don't call themselves religious or spiritual are forgiving one another. Is it because they sense that they will reap the benefits of forgiving for years to come, or is there some other motive?"

In the end, Kelley hopes that embracing and communicating forgiveness can provide a sense of well-being and stability for couples living in an increasingly stressed society.

Forgiving doesn't change what has passed, neither does it justify or make it all right. It allows you to focus on your life from a pain free emotional state. The past no longer makes you cringe, cry or swear.

Forgiveness simply helps you to let go of that negative baggage and makes a place for all the positive things you wish to have. I know a lot of people who after a lover's break up or a friend's betrayal have vowed, "I will never let anyone hurt me like that again."

It is quite justifiable, it is your survival instinct, a protective shield taking over, but be careful that this shield will also prevent you from connecting with new people and eventually making new friends.

This is negative living, and most people are not even aware of it. Forgiveness is letting go of that negative emotional baggage and starting on a new path stronger than before. It is very difficult, I know, to accept the fact that someone you loved and trusted, who has betrayed and stabbed you in the back, deserves your forgiveness.

When I lost a best friend of 25 years to what I thought was petty gossip, I was devastated and questioned the sincerity of her friendship all those years. After forgiving her I can now look back and laugh at the good moments we had together. Sincerity is no longer a question, my love for her is the same, but I no longer need to see, speak or interact with her. Our roads just took different directions, that's all.

Make an assessment of the people in your life, and the ones who are gone. What are your feelings about them? Is there someone you feel "I dislike (or hate) that SOB" either for personal reasons or because of malicious gossip? Or is there someone you distanced from and in your book is unforgivable?

You are carrying some heavy negative emotional baggage. Get rid of it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if you want the good energy of positive living to reach you.

An important, well documented and proven factor is that your anger, hurt and pain not only will affect the way you communicate with others, but eventually will exclude you from social contact. Your self worth is constantly being questioned and if you don't take action it will eventually break down.

"Forgiveness allows one to overcome a situation that would otherwise be a major source of stress, both mentally and neurobiological. Forgiveness is thought to dramatically change the individual's biological homeostatic equilibrium. He will assess the neurobiological response associated with forgiveness and unforgiving-ness." Study of the Brain Functional Correlates of Forgiveness in Humans -Pietro Pietrini, M.D., Ph.D., Pisa - Italy.

Forgiveness benefits both, but you the most, because you left the negative baggage behind. You are now ready to receive the positive force, energy, love, wealth and success the universe has in store for you. The other person doesn't even need to know, it is irrelevant. Neither do you have to bring that person into your life or closer circle any more.

What matters is your thoughts and therefore your actions. If it is clean, clear, and positive, so will your life, your friends, and your future. "Forgiveness is both a decision and a real change in emotional experience. That change in emotion is related to better mental and physical health." Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Ph.D. Executive Director, A Campaign For Forgiveness Research.
From a decade-old grudge against the third-grade bully to deep-seated rage against a cheating spouse, millions of Americans harbor long-term grievances. Dr. Carl Thoresen, a professor at Stanford University, and his colleague, Dr. Fred Luskin, are exploring whether the unresolved anger that blights many people's lives can be alleviated with the help of an age-old concept: forgiveness.

Together, the pair launched a comprehensive research project: The Stanford Forgiveness Study. Thoresen and Luskin hope the impact of their work will be preventative as well as therapeutic. "It's our hope that family and school violence, including shootings, road rage, gang violence and workplace conflict will be diminished - if not avoided - if more people understand the role that forgiveness can play in interpersonal relations," says Thoresen.

"It takes courage and commitment to act in a more forgiving fashion. It's not at all a sign of weakness but a mark of strength." Dr. Carl Thoresen is a professor of Education, Psychology and Psychiatry at Stanford University. Dr. Fred Luskin is a research associate at the Stanford Center for Research in Disease Prevention.

Have a great journey.

Five Pillars of Social Media Marketing

The Five Pillars of Social Media Marketing
Any and all forms of Social Media Marketing tactics fall under at least one of these five forms of action. Often the same channel will incorporate two or more of these:
Declaration of Identity
Identity through Association
User-initiated Conversation
Provider-initiated Conversation
In-Person Interaction
Identity-based Interaction is your declaration of your value, who you are, and where you can be found. Your customer happens upon your online identity that you, as a provider, define and declare. This is anything from your About Us pages on your blog or website, to your MySpace profile, to your Naymz profile. Here, there is very little interaction outside of your own declaration, but this becomes critical in defining how you can benefit your marketplace.
There has been a recent outcrop of websites created purely for this function. An expanded business card, if you will. Most also include the opportunity to link to your other forms of presence online, bringing together your presence in one place…well, kind-of. They include:
Naymz
Ziki
ClaimID
SuprGlu
LinkedIn
Association-based Interaction is your customers’ opportunity to associate themselves with you and you with your customers. Most obviously, this is accomplished through things like becoming “Friends” on MySpace, you and your customers’ BlogRoll, or through their social bookmarking. This is your customer wearing your company’s logo proudly - Like Andy wears his Beatles shirts.
The most explicit form of allowing for this ability is through social bookmarking sites. I say this, and not social networking sites, because this is the sole function of these sites. Make it easy for your customers to bookmark your site, blog posts, etc with their favorite tool.
del.icio.us
Furl
blummy
Ma.gnolia
StumbleUpon
BlinkList
User-initiated Conversation is your users’ opportunity to create their own declarations or questions, and your opportunity to respond. This is your opportunity to be there and cater to them. Here, you serve your customers.
Perhaps the most cut-and-dry examples of this lie in messageboards, forums and “groups” sites such as Google Groups, Yahoo! Groups, community sites, etc. So, how do you find these conversations? Andy Beal’s Online Reputation Monitoring Beginner’s Guide. Here, he walks you through, step-by-step, how to find out what conversations are being initiated by others online.
In order to get directly involved with your customers, the most well-known example of this is “GoogleGuy” on the WebmasterWorld forums, is through your users’ forums, and sites such as:
Yahoo Groups
Google Groups
AOL Groups
MSN Groups
Topica EMail Lists
Kaboodle Groups
Eurekster
tribe.net
Ning
Provider-initiated Conversation is your chance to find out what your customers think, feel, love and hate about your product. Ask them. Challenge them. Present yourself to them, but do so respectfully. As much as it’s an opportunity for them to tell you what they love and hate about your product, it’s also their choice whether to do so or not. Be kind. Be respectful. Appreciate their time.
Although it’s not a primarily online company, there is one company that has made this their culture. Seeking feedback and input from its customers 24/7/265. And it is: Current.tv. There’s little-to-no format, except for about half of the content is contributed by its users. If you haven’t seen it or don’t have digital cable, find someone who does and watch it. Do that this week, you won’t regret it.
Social networking strategies for connecting with your customers can certainly be complex, tricky and cumbersome, so I’ll be writing up strategies in the very near future to hopefully assist on those fronts. In the meantime, find your customers and interact with them here:
Myspace
Bebo
Friendster
Consumating
In-Person Interaction is the pinnacle form of interaction with your customers. You’re interacting with them online, why not in person? Does it get better than that? This is where relationships are built and authentic conversation is had with so much more input, feedback, collaboration and communication. I had a seven hour conversation with a good friend last night. It was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had about so many things, and I could have never had that quality of a conversation online. Nothing beats face-to-face.
Get out there. Meet your customers. Let them interact with other customers. Build your community. Go to conferences…better yet, organize your own gatherings.
To help this along, coordinating, managing attendee status, etc, there have been several sites that can help in either finding local events or coordinating your own:
Meetup
BarCamp
Evite
Upcoming
Eventful
Final Thoughts
One thing about social media marketing: It’s complicated for two reasons: no one has created a structure to work from, and there’s so much overlap in functionality of different sites, that it can be quite confusing as to a site’s single purpose because…well…there usually isn’t a single purpose.
Don’t let this hold you back. Get out there. Spend time with these sites. Sign up, Use them, meet your customers, talk to your customers, and LOVE THEM.

Social Media Marketing

What is the hottest social media tool to emerge on the scene this year? It’s ‘Twitter’, and you may get hooked too…

I recently came back from a fully packed conference on social media marketing, the Danny Sullivan SMX show in Long Beach, CA, and all-the-rage was Twitter, a micro-blogging platform that many at first (typically) considered a ‘joke’ or maybe just a temporary fad. They (we) were all wrong, but most agreed that using any tool or technique without a reasonable strategy was a missed opportunity.

But, let’s not be too quick - learn how to research & leverage the social media space with planning and execution along the way.
I’ll show you that micro blogging and the other tools and platforms in this short SMM guide are things you might consider for your important social media marketing.
Furthermore, SMM can provide quality traffic, you can minimize the often laborious time by a little planning and it is possible to market into B2B marketplaces. It’s not just for kids anymore.

What is it?

“Social media marketing (SMM) is a form of internet marketing which seeks to achieve branding and marketing communication goals through the participation in various social media networks”. Social Media is a shorter top level term that describes the space overall, and covers the activities around social interaction, content, videos, images and audio exposure.
Where to start?

Many of us are so excited about the technology and web (hence my somewhat trite opening), that we forget key pieces to success: definition of business goals, objectives and overall process for execution. The old “fail to plan, plan to fail” comes to mind. While you need to create the roadmap for your online business - you must certainly decide on what goals and resulting metrics you want to attain.

Social media marketing can help you increase the activity around these top goals:
Website traffic and user behavior (external and internal tracking)
Conversion and sales tracking
Page views, ad exposure
Growing brand awareness (a softer value, takes longer to build)
Creating a positive brand association and keeping it there (see also reputation management)
Business development and a broader customer reach
How can you create and convert all this activity with social media?
Since the social web allows you to interact with others, create and promote content that can get links and viral attraction, you can - with the right strategy - reach key influencers using this medium. We all know what blogs alone can do, and they are pretty search engine friendly out of the box.

Social media expansion is important because this provides foundations for broader / faster mindshare, along with supporting your search engine marketing objectives. You *can* convert traffic if you target appropriately (research needed), and do not spam. Read each point below to get a deeper understanding.

Tip #1 - Assistance:Limit talking about yourself, at least initially - provide ways to help others instead. This is probably the most important tip in the social media workplace. Say you are building your new del.icio.us profile, make sure to bookmark other useful resources and sprinkle yourself lightly. It’s about “them”, not “you”. Don’t forget this important rule!

Tip #2 - Process:Don’t become a “me too” - establish a process and goals for how to get there. I recommend reading 5 pillars for one, and much like SEO programs that have a process (keyword research, competitive review, content analysis, etc), build out a similar map. Too many companies dive in too fast, with no real plan and they are simply peeing in the pool, and no good results come from that.

Tip #3 - Contribute:Be the one to create (quality) content. While community is Queen in Social Media, quality content is still King, and always will be. Studies show that people are reading much online, but a much smaller group is contributing content. This can mean good opportunities for you.

Tip #4 - Connect:Reach out to the influencers in your niche, be polite, honest, sincere, and you’d be amazed what brand advocates can do for you.

Tip #5 - Position:Position yourself in front of consumers’ passions. It can and will create a powerful outcome for your brand.

Tip #6 - Blog:Make sure you have setup a blog. These numbers are not to be overlooked. I think Technorati is tracking over 110 million blogs now, and growing at a furious pace, even excluding splogs (spam blogs).

Tip #7 - Links:Don’t be afraid to link out to other blogs and websites in general. Links are what search engines and users make good use of - and search engines would not survive without them. Give others the love too.

Tip #8 - Videos:Video consumption is growing fast. Create a “how to…” or “top tips…” videos and submit to YouTube. It has wide reach, and you could have millions of people see it. For even wider distribution, you should try tubemogul.com or vidmetrix.com, tools to help automate. In generating all content, make sure to keep #1 rule in check. It’s fine to brand with a URL at the end of the video, but no direct selling. Humor, controversy and weird stuff works very well, keep that in mind - don’t be afraid to test.

Tip #9 - Technorati:You said you have a blog, right? Claim your blog at Technorati. This will ensure you are indexed in their search engines for blogs and updates are broadcast across the network, along with your own blog network updates. This happens behind the scenes from automatic “pings”.

Tip #10 - Analytics:Open an account from list below, use your brand name as identifier. This will establish your brand or company name, and not let anybody else assume or steal your personality so easily. Then, work with one or two from the list below to start, and don’t go too fast. Look at your web analytics and track referring domains and review traffic movements daily, weekly.

Tip #11 - Feeds/Research:Subscribe to feeds, and use iGoogle, My Yahoo Web or other favorite RSS readers. Watch for changes (use Google.com/alerts also), and be the first to comment and engage in your topic. First commenters often get more visibility and traction.

Tip #12 - MicroCommunities:Locate and join microcommunities - they are social communities that are relevant to your business. Some examples are education.com, nowpublic.com, travbuddy.com, gardenweb.com, shoetube.com, yelp.com and care2.com (non profits). It is much easier to have your voice heard in these and similar markets, than trying a post to Digg that may go nowhere. Those are the perfect places for the “big fish in a small pond” rule. Create highly relevant and linkworthy content, research what others are writing about, and connect with the top players and influencers.

Tip #13 - Submit:Review the resources below, and consider building out profiles over time. If you submit content, make sure it’s useful, unique and that the title of your post stands out. Pick one or two resources to start, and don’t overextend yourself. Some of the top social marketers in the industry spend 10-12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. This is a lot of manual (social) labor, but you don’t have to go at it that hard. Make sure to ask friends to vote or comment on your postings, befriend others, but no spam. Make intelligent posts and do not have your company employees post from the same location (IP Address). The submission(s) will most likely be rejected, and worst case, your account blocked or suspended.

Tip #14 - Hosting:Have a good hosting provider. If traffic spikes come, and your server instrastructure cannot handle it, you are toast. You don’t want a Digg server melt-down (fun pic). Here’s a first hand story and how to deal with it.

Tip #15 - Monitoring:If you want to save time monitoring across many resources within the social networks, try the new Yahoo Pipes, it’s a social monitoring desktop in a browser.

Tip #16 - Advertising:If you are an advertiser, you might want to check out socialspark.com and socialmedia.com - they both are showing promise from what I can see.

Your Top Social Media Starter Resources (not necessarily in order of importance):
Twitter *See more below - specific for twitter
Facebook (download toolbar)
YouTube (toolbar exists, but have not tried)
Del.icio.us (download toolbar)
StumbleUpon (download toolbar)
LinkedIn (tip: use the Q/A section to gain readership and clients)
Flickr
Digg
Reddit
Technorati
Secondlife (3D)
Meneame (spanish, translate title and synopsis before posting)
Newsvine
Tip: Subscribe (RSS) to Techcrunch!
Twitter bonus: (Thanks GrayWolf)
Web Browser Plugin: twitterfoxDesktop: twhirl, alertthingyBlog Tools: loud twitterEmail: twittermail ((abc…@twittermail) - cool tip: schedule to post when you are not online)Phones: twitterberry (BlackBerry), itweet (iPhone)Other: tweetscan (alerts, keyword, user search)Competitor: Pownce.com - check it out along with friendfeed.com

By Jon Rognerud

See the Trees

I lived in Alabama on a half-acre lot blessed huge oak trees that were 40 feet in diameter. They were HUGE! The house was laid out such that every bedroom faced the backyard. Each bedroom had a large picture window. The view was breathtaking. I enjoyed just looking at the trees. In the fall I would identify a particular leaf that was falling and watched it for what seemed liked 5 minutes before it fell to earth.

One day I invited this married couple over to enjoy the view from the bedroom window. I took them into the bedroom and excitedly pointed to the trees out of the window and exclaimed, "just look"!

One day I invited this married couple over to enjoy the view from the bedroom window. I took them into the bedroom and excitedly pointed to the trees out of the window and exclaimed, "just look"!
I said, "What's wrong". She was reluctant to reply.

I insisted and again said, "What's wrong?"

She relented and said, "Don't you see those fingerprints on the glass?"

I turned and looked and there were what seemed to be fifty or more fingerprints on the glass. I ran for the Windex to clean the glass. The lady "Oh, I didn't mean for you to clean it now."

The morale here is this. That lady never saw the trees. Even when I tried to point them out, She missed it! I didn't see the fingerprints. I was looking through the glass not at it.

When the fingerprints were pointed out to me, I saw them and removed them. The lady never saw the trees. She focused on the fingerprints and she never got passed them.

Life is much like that. There are things in life that are good and things that are bad. You choose which things you want to focus on. I focus on the trees.

What are you focusing on?

By William Lambert

Today Is Yesterday's Tomorrow

I think everyone will find this very useful as I did.



The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today.

All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.

Each of us must pause frequently to remind ourselves that the clock is ticking. The same clock that began to tick from the moment we drew our first breath will also someday cease.

Time is the great equalizer of all mankind. It has taken away the best and the worst of us without regard for either. Time offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency.

When the game of life is finally over, there is no second chance to correct our errors. The clock that is ticking away the moments of our lives does not care about winners and losers. It does not care about who succeeds or who fails. It does not care about excuses, fairness or equality. The only essential issue is how we played the game.

Regardless of a person's current age, there is a sense of urgency that should drive them into action now - this very moment. We should be constantly aware of the value of each and every moment of our lives - moments that seem so insignificant that their loss often goes unnoticed.

We still have all the time we need. We still have lots of chances - lots of opportunities - lots of years to show what we can do. For most of us, there will be a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, and a next year. But unless we develop a sense of urgency, those brief windows of time will be sadly wasted, as were the weeks and months and years before them.

There isn't an endless supply!So as you think of your dreams and goals of your future tomorrow, begin today to take those very important first steps to making them all come to life.

Written by Jim Rohn, America's Foremost Business Philosopher

LIVE A BETTER LIFE

I HAVE STARTED LIVING MY LIFE BY THESE FOUR AGREEMENTS AND EACH DAY IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.......I'M SURE WE CAN ALL USE SOME BETTER.

1. Be Impeccable With Your WordSpeak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything PersonallyNothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make AssumptionsFind the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your BestYour best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.